"Allow the child to have real-life enriching experiences in School Breaks"

I have read with interest some of the letters to the editor (Straits Times) in the past month on what local primary schools can learn from international schools in Singapore. As a mother of 2 boys, one who attends an international school and is now in Grade 10 (O level equivalent) and other who attends a local primary school (now in P5), I have often been asked THE burning question, “Which system do you think is better?” I always skirt the question as I don’t have I have the expertise to declare one system better than the other and I don’t have the right to generalize.

However, what I repeatedly say is based on my personal experience. While my elder son has not once in his 13 years of schooling (he has been attending the same international school since nursery) complained about going to school and is sad to miss school even on days that he is unwell or we are on holiday; it’s the complete opposite for my younger one who cried every morning while going to school from P1 to P3, is wiser now so does not shed tears (crying won’t help him to stay at home and if he does it will just add to the workload the next day), but goes to school every morning stressed and anxious (did he finish the tons of home work assigned, did I sign his notebook, is he forgetting something- the list is endless) and comes home drained out and crestfallen. His first sentence on returning home often is, “ Mama, I have lots of homework today.” I have rarely seen him smiling while going to school or while returning from it, and it tugs at my heart because I don’t see him enjoying his time at school - something which I feel every child deserves.

And it’s not just my experience – too much homework is a common refrain of all local school parents especially in P4-6. Just take a look at parents  on various Facebook groups scratching their heads over unnecessarily hard Math problems, parents that attend Mandarin lessons themselves in order to teach children better, mothers quitting their jobs to support their kids in PSLE years, children getting panic attacks, parents struggling with managing hectic time schedules in between homework, CCA, tuition classes and in the midst of it trying to keep their child myopia free and getting requisite number of hours of sunlight.

The other day my son resignedly said, “I have no life right now, I think only once I finish my schooling, will I have a life.” Can I blame him when a one-week term break that he was looking forward to, also has turned into hours of studies every day? Between the online and the physical worksheets for every subject assigned as “holiday homework” there is easily 25-30 hours of work. As a parent I feel frustrated and sad – how about giving the child a breather, how about giving the child an actual break – so he or she can spend some time reading, exploring, bonding with family, visiting new places and gaining experiences that merely academic texts and worksheets cannot provide. Perhaps a visit to the Science Center or a nature reserve will reinforce his classroom concepts in a more fruitful way.

I remember when he was younger, both of us would joyously plan his holidays, deciding what movie to watch or what museum to visit. Now we are planning on what assignments to finish on a daily basis, so at least he is able to go to the play area or game awhile with his friends (all becoming increasingly difficult day by day.)

And then there are other glaring underlying issues - how do you ensure 9-10 hours of sleep for a child who is up till late in the night finishing his assignments because he had to stay back after school for an extra lesson but was still assigned homework for the next day? How do you ensure that a child who is always fearful of being reprimanded in school, grows up as a confident, self-assured person? How do you expose the child to real-life enriching experiences so that his outlook expands, when he does not have the time to look up from his books? How do you ensure he stays active and healthy when he barely gets time to play? How do you inculcate softer skills in the child that sets humans apart from and makes them superior to technologies such as ChatGPT that are disrupting how we assimilate and disseminate knowledge. 

I am facing these challenges when my son is an above average kid, doing reasonably well in studies and his father and I are there to support him. I shudder inwardly to think of those kids who are unable to cope with the pressure or who lack the family support. I have zealously protected him from tuition lessons thus far, despite hearing how I have missed the boat and will suffer later, from dozens of well-meaning mums with kids in local schools. I just do not have it in my heart to torture him with more hours of classes and extra work.

So, while I cannot comment on better, I can say the local schooling system can learn a thing or two about making life at school less tedious and more happy from their international counterparts. And these are my reasons for the very obvious differences in happiness quotient in both the systems:

Difference in school start time – While most international schools start at 8.30 am or later, local schools start at 7.30 am. As the workload increases in terms of extra lessons and homework, this means lesser sleep hours since the child can no longer afford to go to bed early. A child who is not well rested will naturally feel grumpier and more anxious.

School environment - Discipline is great but smiling at a child or motivating him to do better is not going to make him brash or wild. Why can the teachers not celebrate a child’s achievement? How much effort does it take to say, ‘’ You’ve done well! Or You’ve written well!” ‘ I am proud of you.” When I visited my younger son during recess in P1, I was stumped at how intimidating the atmosphere was. The teachers didn't smile. They yelled at the fear-stricken children to form queues and move on. These were 6 year old's just out of their loving preschool cocoons - didn't they deserve a little kindness, a softer tone? This was a complete contrast to how my elder son's experience in primary years was even though he was a very naughty child. 

Curriculum structuring – Every activity whether it be enrichment classes, CCA, coding lessons or even external exams such as Olympiads are conducted after school in local schools. This means that P4 onwards, the children end up staying back most school days. The poor children leave their homes at 7 am, return at 5 pm or later - toiling longer than office hours - and still don’t have the time to unwind.

Rigor of syllabus plus volume of homework - Hands down, the quantum of homework and the difficulty of work assigned in local schools is the most glaring differentiator from international schools;  leaving no room in a child’s life to indulge in the activities he enjoys. One can use all time management techniques in their armor but still find it hard to push an already tired child through all the homework and make sure he / she makes it to bed on time. For my elder son, I could enroll him in sports and music lessons that he enjoyed because there was little or no homework pressure till Grade 7 (Secondary1), after which he was old enough to progressively adapt to the increasing rigor. Term breaks meant a complete break from studies and I could encourage him to do Word puzzles, Sudoku at home, attend a fun camp or just take him out to relax.

I don’t find any logic to why the English comprehension worksheets have to be so hard or the science questions so confusing for a P4/ 5 student - what is it that we are preparing these kids for, I wonder? There are days that my husband, me and my elder son are all poring over my younger son’s challenging Math problems – by the end of it we are all exhausted and stressed – I commented wryly the other day, “At least, this is encouraging family bonding!”  

Worst effect of this taxing, grueling system: The child loses his love for learning, everything is a chore that needs to be done or he will be punished, shouted at in school rather than to do to expand his knowledge. My son often tells me he regrets being good because if you are banded in the top class, it just means more homework, more challenging worksheets. It is actually a travesty of the system where the child instead of taking pride in being good, finds it burdensome and wants an escape.

I hope that the ministry, the schools and the teachers find it in their heart to allow the children to enjoy their holidays, enrich their lives with real-life experiences and have fun once in a while because childhood is not only about doing well in studies and acing PSLE - it’s a lot more and it slips away really fast like sand dust through our fingers!