An Erstwhile Clumsy Oaf But Now a Cheetah Mom....Maternal Hormones Rock!!

A Cheetah Mom with her Cub

I have always been quite a clumsy oaf! As a helpful kid at home, I always volunteered to set the dinner table. My mother and my sister thanked me profusely but declined my offer of help. The reason being that on those occasions where they had unknowingly sought my help- I had broken many a plate and glasses. I had ruined my mother's Chinaware and on 2 fateful nights, I had even dropped the whole serving bowl - once filled with daal (lentil soup) and the other time with a vegetable my mother had taken a painstaking half an hour to cook!!!

At school, I was a literary champ but a sports disaster. Once in school, I tripped on a basketball and broke my arm without ever having played the sport! I avoided PE lessons feigning a tummy ache whenever I could (an excuse that cannot be dismissed in girls who have just hit puberty), while my friends jumped with joy at a whole hour of fun on the fields away from studies. 

The house (flat) where I spent most of my childhood and my teenage years was in a multi-storied building (boasting of 15 floors, it was touted to be the tallest building in the whole of Uttar Pradesh in the 1990s) in the heart of Lucknow. The boys in the building played literally any and everywhere - in the lift lobbies, on the staircases, in the driveway , the parking lots and any inch of land that was available. (there was no concept of a playground though later on a Table Tennis room was created in the compound.) They played cricket, football and anything much they liked, wherever they liked quite oblivious to the fact that people need to go into and out from the buildings. So people had to dodge the balls to avoid getting hurt, cars had to swerve and manoeuvre to avoid paying for dents later. Sometimes the boys would get an earful from the aunties with children in tow while an occasional middle aged, pot-bellied uncle would catch the ball with full gusto and toss it back to the boys (undoubtedly conveying the message that "Don't go by my age and looks, boys - I was once a champ in the game that you play now") 

Coming back to me as you know by now  I was hopeless in dodging or catching a ball (though my body has secret sensors that attract every ball and flying disc within a 2 km radius as they attract mosquitoes too but that's another story). So, on countless occasions, I was hit by the ball much to the delight of the boys who at that age, find everything amusing in the world. It pained badly but sometimes I pretended bravely that nothing had happened and just walked on without so much as a backward glance at my tormentors or at the wayward ball. In fact once I was sitting in a hand-rickshaw on my way for a lesson, when a runaway (or rather flyaway) ball from a nearby park came in our direction. I saw it coming and froze; the rickshaw puller saw the ball coming and ducked. The ball hit me smack on my nose. I reeled from the impact and asked the rickshaw puller to hurry away feeling totally and helplessly embarrassed to my core!

My family members sympathised with my accident prone nature and tried to keep me away from places and events where my "two left feet" syndrome would be exposed.

Now, after hearing this history,  will not believe me if I tell you that I am a fitness enthusiast now- I walk, I jog, I practice yoga, I frequent the gym, I am learning swimming and I am also a dare-devil Mom. Call it delay effect or maternal instincts but it is true - I am an official cheetah mom now! I am fast, I am agile, I am sure footed and I prevent accidents rather than cause them. My latest feat even surprised my sceptical husband. 

The scene- My husband and my elder son were seated at the dining table. I was on the floor  quite a distance away from the table, retrieving a toy my younger son -  15 month old  had flung under his high-chair. Without any preamble the baby walked to the dining table and started pulling hard at one of the dining chairs. Before we could realize, the chair was out of balance and was falling on him. It all happened so fast - in nanoseconds.

The Action and the Reaction - But the Cheetah Mom (aka me) was faster!!  In an action that defied every logic of gravity, I leaped from my position and managed to catch the chair in mid-air. Since the chair was already falling at high speed & there was no way I could not have put it back in position without trampling my own baby so I manipulated the direction of the fall of the chair - it now fell sideways with a thud, but I had managed to hold back my son with my other hand so he escaped frightened but unhurt. The spell bound audience clapped in surprise and relief while I felt tears smarting my eyes" (what if the chair had fallen on my son, what if I was too late?)" Thankfully it had not, because now I am not only a Mom,  I am a Cheetah Mom!

That's me with my Cubs!!