Crazy Hormones - the first 3 months!!!

Dear blog, I promised to let you know when the stork visited my humble house again and so here I am sharing the good news with you....yes I am expecting my second child and am currently in my 15th week .........oh you ask why I took so long in sharing the good news with u ? don't be angry dear blog, I can explain. The last 2 months I have been either miserable or sick.....now don't get me wrong ....I am very happy, in fact ecstatic about my pregnancy (had been planning for quite sometime but our vagabond life & my back injury had forced us to keep the plans on the back burner for long).

However, spending most of my waking hours holding the bathroom basin either throwing up or waiting to throw up is not my idea of bliss if u know what I mean!!! Of course I keep reminding myself that it is all for a good end and that this too will pass....but still the nausea does 'nauseate my senses' and when the cardamoms, the ginger, the diversions and the anti-vomiting medicines fail I sometimes just hold my head and cry! The worst is when everyone keeps reminding me how it should be better this time as I am experienced....God! what does experience have anything to do with vomiting?

Every morning, I have to muster up every ounce of my willpower to enter the kitchen....my hubby and son have only memories of french toast or idli being served for breakfast because plain toast or cereal is all I can manage for them these days and even that sometimes is enough to make me retch horribly. Not that I go unprepared....I go into the kitchen fully armed- a cardamon in my mouth, a handkerchief or dupatta tied around my nose and mouth, a cut lemon piece and a sick bag handy.

The refrigerator once my friend is my biggest enemy now. I open the fridge door as warily as a bomb disposal squad would approach a bomb to be detonated, only that the timer is not in the fridge but in my gut ready to go off if I take a nanosecond more than I should. I hold my breath (I have found a novel use of 'pranayam'), as I open the door to a tiny fraction, plunge straight for the item- the milk or butter or whatever and quickly shut the door...........then I run to the window or the veranda for some fresh air.

My charged up smelling prowess these days would even put a trained sniffer dog to shame. I can smell what is being cooked two blocks away from my house, which house is being freshly painted, who is wearing what perfume and if the neighbors washed their dog that day. When I am outside the house I steer miles away from the friendly Kopitiams (literally meaning Coffee and Tea shops but also housing food courts) which dot every Singapore neighborhood ...secretly wondering why they have to serve crabs and lobsters with their tea and coffee??? Sometimes I notice people staring at me - (definitely an amusing sight with my nose & mouth covered and walking as fast as my legs can carry)- as if I have the SARS but I don't care as long as it prevents me from inhaling the various exotic smells.

If this was not bad enough, every evening my stomach bloats up as well ....making me literally feel like a balloon which ironically cannot fly :(.

My hormones have messed up my eating habits completely.....besides the fact that I have thrown up virtually everything I have tried to eat....I am craving for all the 'not so healthy stuff'....I want to have garlic bread, Maggi noodles, spicy Tandoori Pizza, Kurkure.........to my husband's amazement I even had a Mc Donalds Chicken Burger the other day which I generally detest! I just cannot have milk (which i normally relish), nuts, rice, brown bread, any fruit except bananas...for some strange reason my throat refuses to push anything 'vaguely healthy' down. You will laugh dear blog but some of my cravings come with a location tag too - I want Shami Kebabs from Karims, Veg Patties from Nathus, Samosas from S.D.A, Chocolate ice -cream from Mother Dairy at India Gate (which btw are all located in New Delhi which is 5 + hours away by flight from Singapore).......maybe I am homesick....maybe I am food sick but I am definitely sick!!!

My freaking hormones are making me cranky and irritable too. The other night when I was wearily making my way to the bed after having somehow finished the household chores.....my dear husband looked up from his iPad at my pained face and tried to cheer me up. He glanced at my bloated tummy and remarked jovially- "Puja you already look 6 months pregnant". Unfortunately for him this was the worst thing he could have said and at the worst time........I was livid as any woman suffering and on the verge of losing shape would be ...."THIS IS NOT THE BABY, IT IS THE WIND", I screamed!!!

My poor husband stung by the ferocity of my attack took refuge of his iPad once more but I was not in a mood to spare him. Popping an antacid in my mouth, I continued on how men are only good at one thing and after that tiny, sometimes accidental contribution they make; the poor women have to bear everything - all the discomfort, the pain while men lie back and take digs at them. Finally exhausted by all the effort spent in my high-pitched ranting, I plopped down on bed preparing for another night of interrupted sleep (visits to the bathroom every 2-3 hours accompanied by nausea and hunger requiring middle of the night snacking). The last I heard was my husband muttering something about female hormones but I was too tired by then to respond and fell asleep.

I cannot deny that there have been some some positive moments in this 15 week chapter which is still unfolding ...when I saw the faint blue line on my self-test kit I was jubilant. The second was seeing a tiny flicker of life in my 8 week scan which as every mother knows is a surreal feeling! The other lighter moments have been provided by my elder son who is excited but visibly concerned about me. Some of his comments, I reproduce here, dear blog and I am sure you will have a hearty laugh after hopefully having sympathized with me;

"Mama, I like the baby in your tummy but I don't like you vomiting all the time."

"Mama, how small is the baby? On being told very small right now.....pointing to his small toe - is it smaller than my smallest toe nail?"

"Mama can I see inside your tummy?

"Mama can the doctor put me inside your tummy now?"

"Mama when you go to the doctor to chop your tummy, you must lift your dress or it will also get cut!"

& here's the one that takes the cake and I have to admit makes all the misery worth it :-). I had just puked and came out of the bathroom to find my son standing outside with sheer horror writ on his face.

My son - "Mama did the baby come out?"

Me- "What? (not quite understanding)

My son- "Mama you vomited na?"

Me- "Yes beta"

My son- "And you said the baby is small and is in your tummy?"

Me - "Yes" ( now understanding where this was leading to)

My son- "When I vomit Mama, you tell me that all that is in my tummy comes out, so did your baby also come out?

Now I was clearly amused but seeing how concerned he was, I hugged him close and assured him that the baby was alright and cannot come out through the mouth!

So dear blog and dear readers, this is my story till now, I will keep u updated as time passes ....till then wish me luck and do write in with your experiences.....